This is Me

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Lately I have been having a hard time reading the Bible everyday for fun.
My community group decided that we needed to start going through the Bible, making sure we all know the basic stories, before trying to study the Bible. We soon realized that we are all at different places in our Bible knowledge, which is ok, but we decided as a group that we wanted to work on our Bible knowledge together. So we have been reading through the Bible the main stories, so then we can link the lineage between people better, once we know who is who.
Anyways all that to say, I realized for myself, that there are many stories in the Bible that I do know and then there are many that I just dont know, or dont know well enough to be able to remember great details about. So I started to think that I should go back to reading a Childrens Bible.
In a Childrens Bible you get the Bible stories but put into simple form, and they are generally quick reads. As I started to think about this I started to read some of them, and realized I really liked reading them and have for a while, partly because I read a Childrens Bible to my little siblings often when I watch them, or put them to bed.
So I ordered The Action Bible, which is the Bible put into comic book form. And yes I do like comic books.
Today I started reading it from the beginning, and I loved it! At first I felt a little silly reading it instead of a “Grown up Bible” but Ive realize that God doesnt care what Bible I read, as long as its His Bible, and tells His redemption story.
So at the moment Im reading a comic book Bible, along with a “Grown up Bible”
I thought I would share my thinking, and what God has been doing with me when it comes to diving into His word, and learning more about Him.
And maybe you have had similar issues. If so I would recommend trying to read a Childrens Bible or The Action Bible if you want to learn the stories then go deeper and study scripture.

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Jumbled/Emotional Thoughts (that probably wont make sense)

Some days I just feel so sad. My heart will suddenly feel so heavy and then it become heard to breath. It was like that a lot when my sister Tatiana first died.

Most days when I think about her I’m sad, but not the hard to breath kind of sad. But lately its been happening more, the hard part is many of the times I get this feeling I’m around a big group of people, or even a small group of people who know nothing about what my life was before they first met me. (not that I try to hid anything, I just try not to give to much information when first meeting people, on top of wanting to let others pursue me if they want to know me.)

I’ve been thinking about her a lot yesterday and today and have just been in prayer. For God to help me, show me what my own feelings are, that I wouldn’t run away from the pain but deal with it.

And I realized part of my sadness lately is linked with the fact that I got my dream job and I’m getting ready to move out soon. And all I want to do is call my sister and tell her. We use to talk about how much fun it would be when we moved out (her from her dads house, and me from my birth moms house), and when we got our dream jobs.

My heart hurts that I can’t, that there were things unsaid, circumstances that helped to prevent us from dealing with things that needed to be dealt with.

I don’t know if she is with Jesus or not, but what I do know is that He put her in my life for a reason. Even though there were days that we fought like crazy (partly because we were like the Sun and Moon), we cried, laughed, sang, danced, and prayed together at times. God used her continually in my life to point to Him, He used us both in each others lives, and I’m so thankful I got the time with her that I did.

I know that God is good, that what happened to her is part of His plan. And that He is with me every single second bringing me back when I try to run away from the pain, comforting me when I face the pain, and encouraging me to Him.

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This is what I’m looking forward to this summer:)

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I have to say this is pretty stinking cute!

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I want this!! this would be so much fun!

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“Gods provision for you is comprehensive and founded on the gospel. God, who gave his own beloved Son to redeem you and make you his child, will not refuse to meet your needs.The “every need of yours” and “all things that pertain to life and godliness” promised in Christ most assuredly includes the removal of the shame that results from the sins done against you. This is what it means for God to be for you and to supply every need of yours.

In his ministry, Jesus brought grace to disgraced people. In the Gospels, especially in the Gospel of Luke, we learn that the good news Jesus brings is for all kinds of people, especially those who experienced shame—-the lowly, marginalized, oppressed, the outsiders in society such as lepers and tax collectors. During his ministry, Jesus sought out one unclean outcast after another, touching them and making them clean. And while the specifics of your story may not be perfectly represented among the people Jesus ministered to, we can be sure that the hurting people he was in contact with most certainly had experiences of defilement and shame.

……Jesus actively pursued outsiders and outcasts, those who experienced shame.

Jesus purposely reached out to those who were rejected and considered “outside the camp” because they were considered “unclean”— morally, socially, or religiously. His solidarity with the shamed and excluded of his day led to the ultimate experience of shame—-his crucifixion.”

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Praise/Prayer

Lord,

Thank you for being so faithful. For showing me when I’m not believing your truth and living in the dark, and not just leaving me in that sadness, but walking with me, offering comfort, love, forgiveness, and your sons blood. Thank you Lord for being my perfect father.

You have never failed me, (though there are many times where I thought you had, and then later realized you actually never did, I was the one who turned away) where as every single person I have known has in some way or another, and at some point in that relationship, failed me.

You alone Lord can heal me, can take away my pain over things done to me, sins committed against me, and the sins I have committed against others.

Through you Lord I can be truly free of guilt, shame, and bitterness. Lord please continue to work on my heart to continually believe that truth every day. To give all things to you.

Amen